Sunday, December 16, 2012

What are little boys made of?

"One group, epitomized by therapist Micheal Gurian suggests that boys are both doing worse than ever, and doing worse than girls thanks to feminists' effort. Gurian argues that as feminists have changed the rules, they've made boys the problem. By minimizing the importance of basic biological differences, and establishing girls' standards as ones that all children must follow, feminists have wrecked boyhood."

I can hardly agree with the statement that feminists have wrecked boyhood. Boys are doing "worse than ever" and "worse than girls" (whatever that means) due to the environment they are being raised in, which is predominantly violent. What standards have girls set?  Besides being biologically different and being raised with the attitude that violence is avoidable instead of encouraged, there are no differences between boys and girls, especially at that age. The "standards" the girls carry shouldn't be just for girls. It should be for all children, boys and girls alike. To be polite, sharing, caring, problem solving when you have arguments with friends rather than violent should be the standard for all kids. Sorry if it was overwhelming to take in because girls were the ones teaching it. Boyhood is supposed to fun, not violent.

The belief that violence is manly is not carried out on any chromosome, not soldered in the wiring of the left or right hemisphere, not juiced by testosterone....Boys learn it. Violence, Gilligian writes, "has far more to do with the cultural construction of manhood than it does with the hormonal substrates of biology. 
The idea that being a man comes with violence, power and privilege is becoming worse and more powerful. I'm surrounded by men and women who so easily say "Stop being a little bitch", "Be a man" "Stop your crying". Or even worse, my step dad saying to his grandson "You're not going to be a pussy, you're going to be a man". When is this culture going to learn that violence isn't going to help any gender or sex, race or class? Being violent doesn't make you a man, just as feminism doesn't ruin a boys childhood.

"That's all the more necessary, because there really is a boy crisis in America - not the crisis of inverted proportions  that claims boys are the new victims of a feminist-run agenda run amok. The real boy crisis usually goes by another name. We call it "teen violence", "youth violence", "gang violence", "violence in the schools". Let's face facts: Men and boys are responsible for 85% of all violent crimes in this country, and their victims are overwhelmingly male as well. From an early age, boys learn that violence is not only an acceptable form of conflict resolution, but one that is admired." 

I believe if we stop calling "youth violence" youth violence and start calling it boy violence, we may be able to point out a lot of abscuities to people who don't study the growing violence within males, all teens, boys and adult men. How do we learn to stop teaching our young boys that violence is not the answer? Or how to solve a problem without having it break out into a fight? Do we have all of them read books that are written about the masculinity of men with a feminists point of view? How do you take charge of a movement that big?

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